Mee Siam Mai Hum

Friday, March 20, 2009

these following words were taken from X's blog. Just in case the URL change or the post gets removed, I better post it here for future references. =)

some people are destined to be blind. they aren't born blind.

they just cant see how much i'm paying, sacrificing, doing. cant they see i'm worn out?

well, they cant see, i guess. no matter how many hints i dropped along the way, they dont get it. and, this isn't because i'm having mood swings. the hormones didn't kick in. this is because i truly feel this way. almost everyday. no matter how many more texts i get than others, the emptiness just doesn't seem to go. yanling looked at me in envy or is it jealousy(?) whenever i received texts.

those people never understand.i broke down just now, but i recovered. just because of 1 sms. sms from someone who truly understands me rather than the others who thought they knew me so much. but do they? they only know what i'm going to do but what about how i feel? they know nothing about how i feel. they just take me for granted...

even g_ _ _ _ _'s sms brighten my day. s_ _ _ _ _'s sms is the best though. i asked him one very simple yet profound question before and i realised both of us are finding answer to that question, quite similar. but, the thing is, he doesn't do 'deal or no deal' with me. and he's mature enough to know my problems. sensible enough not to say the wrong things.

why must it be my fault for getting emo? why isn't it because people dont understand my needs? i need friendship more than money. i can trade my birthday present just to win back some people. yet, i cant. money cant win back friendship. once it's broken, it's gone.
obligations are holding me back. hopes hold me in place. but sometimes, i feel as if i'm very stupid. stupid enough to obey, to follow when it might not be what i want. just to make someone else happy.

i miss e_ _ _ _ _ sia... and the others, whom i lost.

i told myself i just need another 2 months and i will be freed from the obligations. then, i will have the choice to decide what i want, to stay or leave.maybe i should leave since i am always the one waiting. maybe...

i guess i have the next 2 months to consider this seriously.

Kim Yao

Kim Yao @ Friday, March 20, 2009
"Sorry also must exprain"
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Hello Uncle...Bah Chor Mee one. I want chilli plus tur Kwa plus can I watch your CCTV playback of Jeff Lopez...=D